Reasons to Survive "Reasons to Survive November"

I found this on a poetry podcast yesterday and at first I was sure I was going to hate it. On a subjective level, it's called "Reasons to Survive November" and I like November. It also has some Bukowski-like references like "Donna the kickboxing queen" (which should be the title of a Tom Waits song) and "there's a soup special at the Waffle House downtown."


But there are some great images here (especially the train and the gun) and really unexpected turns like "a bottle full of hate" and "my donkey soul" that I would never have seen coming. It's not a perfect poem, there's too much haziness in the specifics and some grand statements that don't quite feel earned. But I far prefer uneven poems with great moments to things that are more self-assured but mediocre. It's sort of like film criticism: usually the most you can ask for from a movie is some good moments.

Reasons to Survive November

Tony Hoagland

November like a train wreck—
as if a locomotive made of cold
had hurtled out of Canada
and crashed into a million trees, 
flaming the leaves, setting the woods on fire. 


The sky is a thick, cold gauze—
but there's a soup special at the Waffle House downtown, 
and the Jack Parsons show is up at the museum, 
full of luminous red barns. 


—Or maybe I'll visit beautiful Donna, 
the kickboxing queen from Santa Fe, 
and roll around in her foldout bed. 


I know there are some people out there
who think I am supposed to end up
              in a room by myself


with a gun and a bottle full of hate, 
a locked door and my slack mouth open
          like a disconnected phone. 


But I hate those people back
from the core of my donkey soul
and the hatred makes me strong
and my survival is their failure, 


and my happiness would kill them
so I shove joy like a knife
into my own heart over and over


and I force myself toward pleasure, 
and I love this November life
where I run like a train
deeper and deeper
into the land of my enemies.