Saturday Silly: It's Good to Be King

It's been a while since I let loose with some of the less serious verse, and after the harrowing self-immolation of my last post, I think it's high time for some lightness. Of course, that lightness is in the service of class warfare...

Lines from a Plutocratic Poetaster to a Ditch-digger

Franklin Pierce Adams

Sullen, grimy, labouring person,
      As I passed you in my car,
I could sense your muffled curse on
      It and me and my cigar;
And though mute your malediction,
      I could feel it on my head,
As in countless works of fiction
            I have read.


Envy of mine obvious leisure
      Seemed to green your glittering eye;
Hate for mine apparent pleasure
      Filled you as I motored by.
You who had to dig for three, four
      Hours in that unpleasant ditch,
Loathed, despised, and hated me for
            Being rich.


And you cursed me into Hades
      As you envied me that ride
With the loveliest of ladies
      Sitting at my dexter side;
And your wish, or your idea,
      Was to hurl us off some cliff.
I could see that you thought me a
            Lucky stiff.


If you came to the decision,
      As my car you mutely cussed,
That allottment and division
      Are indecently unjust—
Labouring man, however came you
      Thus to think the world awry,
I should be the last to blame you …
            So do I.




A few quick notes: "plutocratic" pertains to a state in which the rich rule, "malediction" is a curse, and "dexter" means the right-hand side but with connotations of favorable or blessed. And I absolutely LOVE how the final line of each stanza breaks the meter, brings you up short and really drives the point home. 


A quick example: 

You who had to dig for three, four

      Hours in that unpleasant ditch,

Loathed, despised, and hated me for

            The fact that I am rich.

Versus -

You who had to dig for three, four

      Hours in that unpleasant ditch,

Loathed, despised, and hated me for

            Being rich.