It's both awesome and lame, terrible and terrific. A lot has to do with the fact that I grew up watching the episodes, discussing them, reading books and articles about the show, and waiting impatiently for the weekend to roll around again, when I'd get to stay up late and watch a new one air on FOX.
So I decided to look for some of the best Star Trek poetry I could find! I quickly gave up and decided to look for the worst Star Trek poetry I could find, which yielded far more results.
Writing.com even had a Star Trek Poetry contest, and I feel I have to include a few of their winners. (I'm disqualifying those written in Klingon.) Here's their grand prize winner.
Scotty
tosca
Who will beam me up
now that you have gone?
Who can I rely on
to keep me safe,
as my particles
disintegrate?
Now when I board
with my pass
to fly business class,
it won’t be the same.
I’ll still whisper your name
and close my eyes.
But...surprise, surprise;
all my parts will remain
on the aeroplane.
And my wish won’t come true
Because you
have beamed yourself up,
Scotty.
Mmm-mmm good. A fittingly goofy eulogy for a man who perfected the goofy Scotch accent.
This next one I actually kind of like, a mash-up of original Star Trek episode titles. It doesn't mean much, but that's part of the fun.
The Day of the Dove
Rose Grey
The Cage on this side of paradise
Holds the devil in the dark
The balance of terror and errands of mercy
Bring out the enemy with in; a wolf in the fold
With a wink of an eye we receive a taste of Armageddon
The patterns of force in a private little war
Hold no shore leave for the obsession
Of a homecoming to all our yesterdays
Let us return to tomorrow
And the City on the Edge of Forever
Where a metamorphosis can occur
Bringing about a logic to rival Spock’s brain
And the Children shall lead us
Away from the dagger of the mind
Showing us the way to Eden
But here's what really brought this all about - a half-remembered poem written for the Next Generation episode "Schisms," supposedly by one of the ship's crew.
Ode to Spot
Lt. Cmdr. Data (though probably Brannon Braga)
an endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature?
Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses
contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
a singular development of cat communications
that obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
for a rhythmic stroking of your fur, to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion,
it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display
connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
"Captain, you have anticipated my denouement..." Just amazing.
What blows my mind is that this little ditty supposedly written by a robot is so far superior to nearly all of the fan poetry I can lay my hands on. (Some have argued that Brannon Braga is himself a robot, but I won't stoop to that level of discourse, at least among my non-Trekker friends.)
I also came across this fantastic discussion about the poem which combines the impassioned testiness of the die-hard Trekkie with the patronizing superciliousness of the English department grad student.
So there you have it, folks, all the Trek literature I can stand for one day. In the words of the inimitable science fiction author Orson Scott Card, "Ah, Star Trek - it is to laugh."
No comments:
Post a Comment