Let's Have Some Fun At Famous Writers' Expense

So there's some nice dirty language in here, but you've been warned.

Famous Poems Abbreviated

X.J. Kennedy

1

Of man's first disobedience and its fruit
Scripture has told. No need to follow suit.

2

Once upon a midnight dreary,
Blue and lonesome, missed my dearie.
Would I find her? Any hope?
Quoth the raven six times, "Nope."

3

Whoosh! - hear the Sea of Faith's withdrawing roar?
So baby, let's make love tonight, not war.

4

Who will go drive with Fergus now?
You lazy cocks and cunts,
I thought I'd ask you anyhow.
Well don't all speak at once.

5

Whose woods these are I think I know.
Shall I just sack out in the snow
And freeze? Naaaa, guess I'd better go. 




I can't get enough X.J. He was one of the first poets I could enjoy for fun: he's bawdy, brash, and almost always highly entertaining. (For proof see "In a Prominent Bar in Secaucus One Day." Classic.)


But that 4th one, the naught one? I had no clue, so I had to look it up. I figured it was either Yeats or Heaney or maybe John Berryman. But I present it here for your edification.

Who Goes With Fergus?

W.B. Yeats

Who will go drive with Fergus now,
And pierce the deep wood's woven shade,
And dance upon the level shore?
Young man, lift up your russet brow,
And lift your tender eyelids, maid,
And brood on hopes and fear no more.
And no more turn aside and brood
Upon love's bitter mystery;
For Fergus rules the brazen cars,
And rules the shadows of the wood,
And the white breast of the dim sea
And all dishevelled wandering stars.




I'll admit my Yeats knowledge is deficient. But this one seems like one of his earlier efforts, when he was still more romantic and less Imagistic. Sadly, most of my Yeats is "Leda and the Swan," the one about his girlfriend as an old lady watching the fire, and "The Second Coming." Time to remedy this. (Especially when X.J. tells me to.)